6 Tips for Anger Management
December 2, 2010 at 5:00 amWe've all had those moments. Something someone said or did that set us off, triggering an outburst that we wished we could have taken back after we've cooled off. Anger is such a negative and potentially harmful emotion that our failure to manage it can result in an inability to enjoy all those little delights in life because we are so focused on the faults of others. Consider these simple solutions for transforming our lives from rageful red to a silver serenity.
1. Know Your Triggers
Being aware of anger buttons allows you to prepare yourself when you see an infuriating situation unfolding, and do something constructive about it before you are too angry to control yourself. Removing yourself from the immediate environment, changing the subject, or counting to 100 are only beneficial suggestions if you employ them before you are in a rage.
One of the most common anger triggers involves poor time management. When you are in a rush, it is easy to become impatient while driving, waiting in lines, etc., creating a perfect scenario for an anger blowout. Just a small change, like managing your time more wisely, will decrease your frustration, keeping it from developing into anger.
2. Tune In To Yourself
Figure out what tell tale signs your body gives before you go off the deep end. How does your body react as your anger increases? Things like shortness of breath, rising body temperature, clenching your fists, etc. can signal the onset of an anger blowout. Also, be aware of your self-talk during these critical moments. Are you cursing and threatening the person in your head, egging yourself on? If you are alert to these signs, you can head off that adrenaline rush and neutralize a potentially volatile situation.
3. Knowing Your Release Valves
Arm yourself with mellowing techniques that you know work for you. Find out what calms you down when you are upset. These can be anything from controlled breathing exercises to picturing a peaceful image in your mind, from chanting a soothing phrase in your mind to simply walking away from a situation before you erupt. Just doing something physical – like going for a walk, going to the gym, even cleaning up your room – allows you to release the steam before it detonates.
As a general rule, surround yourself with people you find relaxing, and who allow you to safely vent your daily frustrations. Certain activities such as listening to peaceful music, practicing yoga and meditation, even doing something creative such as drawing or painting, allows you to release pent up emotions you are holding unaware.
4. Don't Bottle it Up
Living your life openly and honestly allows you to experience things fully without taking emotional baggage with you. When you don't stick up for yourself, don't behave truthfully with others (such as in workplaces with co-workers and bosses, or with family members), resentment builds. These negative feelings don't go away – they fester and build inside of you, until that one day you erupt in anger. Far better to deal with these emotions when they are more easily controlled than to wait until you are so angry that you say or do something that is unforgivable.
5. Take Responsibility
Owning up to any of your behaviors and choices that may have led to your current combustive state is a sure-fire way to keep everything in perspective and to calm yourself down. In blaming others for the way that you feel, accusing them with such phrases as "you made me upset," you take all the power away from yourself. Only you can allow others to affect you; whether or not you realize it, you choose to be angry, so choose to let it roll off you instead.
6. Keep Yourself in Check
Keeping things in perspective is extremely important in anger management. Taking a step back from a situation, and deciding that it's not worth getting so upset over, is an easy and practical method for avoiding angry outbursts. It's important to stand up for yourself if anyone has genuinely wronged you, but the everyday annoyances such as someone cutting you off on the road or cutting in line at the store aren't worth all that negative energy. It is much better to shake it off and enjoy the rest of your day than to give in to these petty fleeting annoyances.
( hari krishnamurthy K. HARIHARAN)"think of them as Sand paper.
They Scratch & hurt you,
but in the end you are polished and they are finished. ''
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