|
Men Are Just Happier People
|
|
NICKNAMES
|
· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
|
· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Dikhead and Shit for Brains.
|
|
EATING OUT
|
· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
|
· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
|
|
MONEY
|
· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
|
· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
|
|
BATHROOMS
|
· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
|
· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
|
|
ARGUMENTS
|
· A woman has the last word in any argument.
|
· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
|
|
FUTURE
|
· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
|
· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
|
|
SUCCESS
|
· A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
|
· A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
|
|
MARRIAGE
|
· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
|
· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
|
|
DRESSING UP
|
· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
|
· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
|
|
NATURAL
|
· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
|
· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
|
|
OFFSPRING
|
· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
|
· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
|
|
|
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
|
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
|
| |
| |
In case you didn't know...
Women are Angels
And when someone breaks our wings....
we simply continue to fly... on a broomstick...
After all we are flexible |
No comments:
Post a Comment