SLEEPING BEAUTIES

Monday, 6 August 2012

SLEEPING BEAUTIES

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Most awkward Cat sleeping positions1. The Full Situp To achieve the full situp, you must begin with the genuine intention of exercising your abs and promptly fall asleep midway through the task. This position is extremely advanced and not recommended for amateur sleepers.

2. The Awkward Spoon The goal here is not so much intimacy as it is the socially uncomfortable sharing of a physical space with someone. Bonus points if your arm falls asleep but you're too embarrassed to move it.3. The Semicircle Tuck your tail between your legs and imagine that you are an omelet.

4. The Sunbather The trick is to look like someone who is acting comfortable whilst also appearing extremely uncomfortable. Let's take this excellent opportunity to coin the term "meta-comfortable."5. The Double Bed You will need a partner for this one. The goal is not so much comfort as an expression of sheer, unadulterated greed.

6. The Half-Box Any old box will do, but two of your feet - preferably on opposite sides of your body - must remain outside the container at all times. 7. The Backstroker Do not even attempt unless you have tiny, tiny, precious little legs.

8. The Sleeping Baby Find a baby. Imitate the baby.9. The Fur Pile For this, you will need at least three friends who are not averse to your sleeping on them.

10. The Full-Box Just get your whole damn body in there no matter what it takes. Be the box. 11. The Drunken Radiator Just because you are obviously some kind of gin-addled hobo doesn't mean you can't be nice and warm.
12. The Sleeping Dog Find a dog. Imitate the dog.13. The Librarian Bury your furry little head in your paws and try to look as contemplative and bookish as possible before drifting off.

14. The Ruler Measure the floor with every inch of your tiny body. 15. The Windowsill The whole world is your hammock.

16. The Clothes Dryer Imagine that you are a wet T-shirt, fresh from the washing machine. Drape yourself accordingly.17. The Pot Luck Think of yourself as a last-minute fruit salad that everyone will be very polite about but probably not enjoy all that much.

18. The Head-Rush Head to the ground, paws in the air - let gravity do the rest.19. The Odd One Out For this one you will need first to find two willing conformists.

20. The Mid-Sentence Only recommended for individuals with extreme forms of narcolepsy.21. The Bag Of Limbs (Box Edition) Have a friend or loved one take you apart and put you back together haphazardly inside a box.

22. The Bag Of Limbs (Couch Edition) Same as above, except (obviously) without the box.23. The Dog Bed Not a bed for dogs, but a bed that is made of dogs. I.e., the most comfortable bed you will ever sleep on that also smells kind of funky.

24. The Office Worker Fall asleep on the job. LOL.25. The Married Couple Don't be afraid to snore.

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